millions of peaches

"push th' little daisies and make 'em come up!"

heh heh

Roman's brother has a nice little (big) music collection.
I'm at her house and we're chillin in the basement, listening to his stuff.

Anyway..

We got more toasted marshmallowy goodness tonight. The Stop N Go man loves us by now. We are the regulars.
The blue beast doesn't have a cd player so we have to listen to the radio. The Christian station's a favorite. Haha, maybe not. But we listened to it for a bit.
Radio: "The New Year is about starting over, and God gives you that clean slate."
Me (in a joking voice): "He sure does.."
Roman (also joking): "Yeah! God gives you a clean slate."
Me: "Sing it sister!"
Roman (loud): "GOD GIVES CLEAN SLATE!"

We played this game called Mall Madness (ages 9 and up). Believe me, that name does not lie. It IS madness!

We also wandered around Roman's humongo backyard for a while. At midnight we put on hunting gear and mittens, and wandered. There's a huge forest back there, and it's very creepy in the dark. It was foggy tonight too. Roman was walking in front of me, so every few minutes I would just fall to the ground and see how long it took her to notice. Mwahaha. When we were done walking around we came back to her normal-yard and just laid there. Roman was shining the flashlight in the sky.
Roman: "I love when you can see the shine up in the sky."
Me: "You should get a bat-shaped flashlight."
.....silence
Me: "Hey what if there's a superhero named Circle Man?.. and when people shine flashlights up he flies down. Yeah, he'd probably get confused a lot. I mean, even the moon's a circle!"

We came back in and played Mall Madness again. Man, we're cool.


Is it creepy to anyone else that Roman's family owns church pews?

sorry, i had to....

Roman: "What are you doing for New Years?"
Me: "I don't know yet. It's soon, isn't it?"
Roman: "Yeah"
Me: "Well, what do people do for New Years?"
Roman: "They sit and eat crackers.. and cheese... and sausage."

"these peanuts better not have peanuts in them, cause i might die"

yayaya

Today Roman and I finally did our picture excursion.
First we went to the gas station and got us some gassaccino.. well it was hot chocolate but it's still gassaccino. Marshmallowy goodness mmm-mmmm.

We drove over by palmer park and walked on the bike trail for a while. It's quite creepy when it's dark/cold. And we took some niiiiiiice pictures. Like me drinking my gassaccino, Roman "smoking", me being a crazy trail hobo, and a fence. We kept walking until we got out of the trees, then we turned around and started to go back, but we heard a wolf and a baby crying so we ran.

I decided we must go to Toys R Us, so we did. We danced with a boohbah for about 20 minutes, then I beat up this kid for hogging the video games. We had a light saber fight where I died. I took a picture of Roman in a toy bulldozer or something. She took a picture of me on a motorcycle. I am badass.

Then we went to the house of Roman, where I finally met her brother. He and his friends were playing dungeons and dragons. Chuckle chuckle chuckle times infinity.

uhhhh

Then we drove around. And then we went to Denny's where Ryan Caitlin Adam Wayne and Joey were. And I was Caitlin and Caitlin was me. And Adam got slammed by a lumberjack. And Ryan got his watch back and made sweet sweet love to it. Then Sara and Olivia came and yes. And I ate Wayne's finger, or tried.

We went bowling, and let me tell you, I am no pro. C1 sabotaged my game though.. she wants to be the bowling twin. But I knocked over some of her pins with my powers. So there.
Wayne killed my hat but C1 (kind of) fixed it.
Roman can't even get a strike for $10.

After bowling, everyone minus sara olivia and roman went to Ryan's bungalow. We sang bohemian rhapsody, and then I lyp-synced real good. I ate my own face and then Adam and Wayne stripped me down, and that was that.

Robin showed up and she sat in the car while Caitlin took me home. The three of us and Elaina and possibly Roman have a dance team that's going to blow your mind.


But anyway I'm glad I got to hang with all those kids because I haven't seen them in infinity years.. and I missed them like a pig misses his slop when the farmer takes it away because the pig is getting too fat to mate with other pigs and make little baby piggies. Yeah. That much.




hmmmm...

Well I just took a shower, and now I'm wearing two pairs of pants. Two pantses. Goodnight.

all i'm asking for is..

I drove today. My first time driving legally and it was in the snow. And this time, I didn't hit a thing, or kill the engine, or anything. And it was fun fun fun till my daddy took the t-bird away. (and by t-bird I mean Jeep)
For christmas my brother gave me napoleon dynamite and a flippin sweet old man hat, and my sister gave me a spirograph/gram.. what's it called? No one gives me toys anymore besides her. I should bitch about that.
So a few days ago when I was at the mall with my brother we saw this thing that was a quesadilla maker. And it was flippin sweet. So, well we gawked at it for a while.. I mean you should see it! And then we decided we should get it for my sister.
So we gave her the quesadilla maker, and I gave her that ridiculous pillow. And gave my brother a cd and a mooooovie.
'Twas fun.
But my sister made the mistake of getting Scrabble for my dad. Mistake because we ended up playing that with him for 3 hours. Holy H. Yeah, fun night right?

But it was merry, I do admit.

holiday hugs for everyone :)

Wow, how I love my family.
I just got back from my grandparents house for the big christmas party deal. Everyone was there this time which was nice.
So all twelve of the cousins got a brand spankin new pair of pajama pants from grandma and grandpa (wa-hoo) and then we all had to put them on and line up for a picture. because that's what everyone does when they get new pants? I don't know. So we all had to squeeze to fit into the picture, and my cousin Colin (who was tipsy at the time mind you) said "HOLIDAY HUGS FOR EVERYONE!". haha. i don't know, it was funnier at the time I guess.
I always used to hate how my uncles and my older cousins would ask if I had a boyfriend every time I saw them. But now that's the first question I ask to the younger cousins. I guess you can't really help it or something.
What I found out: My cousin Garrett has a girlfriend named Vanessa. Rumor has it things are getting pretty serious. They're 6.


Well, Happy Holidays and what-have-you.

hi! my name is jason. welcome to target.

Let me fill you in on yesterday. School= blah, as always. Afterwards I went to the mall with Roman and am copying and pasting from her od because I'm lazy, so: "I" is Roman, "olyn" is me.


"went to the mall with olyn tonight, ran into lots of pretty boys. and wyatt. discussed his fat mother who hates him in about two sentances and then warned him to not buy too many drugs tonight. but the pretty boys are nice, i want one. oh and by me saying 'pretty boys' not... mommy's pretty boys, but boys who are pretty easy on the eyes.. if you have weird tatse. mmhmm

olyn and i continually seem to get into wars with pillows shapped like tootsie pops. she bought her sister one.. i know it was jsut an excuse so she could hit people over the head with it. but i find it amusing. so i hauled it around on my shoulder and recieved multiple dirty looks, while i waved olyn would yell 'YEAH THATS RIGHT'.. mhmm.... got a problem with my tootsie pop? didnt think so." I told 'em. I told 'em goood.

I got my xmas shopping done last night. Something for my brother, my sister, and Blair (for the secret santa thing). I don't do the gift-giving thing too well. Seriously. What am I giving Roman for Christmas? I'm wrapping up SLC Punk and giving it back to her because I borrowed it 2 months ago. And that's fine, she's giving me my cd back for Christmas. That's what everyone should do, just give everyone their stuff back. It would be so much easier.

The past two days I was feeling really crappy. I didn't sleep until 2AM those two nights and when I woke up I swore I was dying. I went to school anyway though because I can't really afford to miss it. I've been trying to be good with my homework and whatnot. Anyway last night I took some Nyquil and just passed out until morning. And when I woke up I felt so much better. Still sick, but not dying.

The secret santa thing in newspaper was great. I give Blair a gumball machine.. for no real reason.. but he liked it, so I'm glad. My gift was crazy. I opened the box and there was a tape recorder that i was supposed to play. I did and it was some crazy voice I couldn't even understand. I expected there to be like.. a severed head in the box or something after hearing that voice. It turns out it was a gift card, some candy, and a keychain. Congrats to tyler, for giving the creepiest present of all time :)

I finally remembered to bring the australia pictures to school today. Now Brittany can stop doing Ally. In the rectum. And speaking of Ally, I beat her in street-wrestling this morning. I have a rugburn to prove it.

burn baby burn

disco inferno.

hands and feet

Well I got my temps on friday.
My mom was babysitting her friend's daughter/ my friend's sister, whilst (haha.. whilst) we went to the DMV, and everyone glared at and whispered about me being a 15-year old mother, though I am not.
No one took me driving this weekend. Well my mom did once, but I killed the engine about a block away from home and, well that was that.

I didn't do much of anything this weekend.. besides make some cold hard cash with the A-Bomb on friday, and make mishapen christmas cookies with my sister last night.

Today I worked on my english paper for a bit. It's getting close to done. I'm kind of writing it backwards, or maybe even upside down. The conclusion is done, and half of the argument part. I just need to do the rest by Wednesday.

Well I have been sick like a mother this weekend. My throat is (still) killing me. And the antacids I'm supposed to be taking make me sick.

But I'm good, I swear.

bastardization of the studded belt

My biggest pet peeve I think is the sound of chewing. I'm trying to write this short little paper on Andrew Jackson for history but all I can hear is the sound of my dad chewing what is chicken but is loud enough to be tree bark. So distracting. If it weren't for music, I would say that I honestly would not mind being deaf. Noises make my mind wander more than anything.

And right now it is wandering to......

I don't understand hypocrits. Or lying people. I just can't wrap my mind around why they would say things that aren't true. I worry sometimes that I'm being hypocritical and not even noticing. Like I worry that when reading this, someone will feel the urge to spit on me because they think that of all people I shouldn't say that I don't like hypocrits. Or liars. I lie, but it's different. I will lie if I don't have an assignment done. I will say "I forgot it at home," but that has no potential of hurting anyone but myself. I lie about other tiny things that could in no way hurt someone. But some kids I know will lie about the most nonsensical things. They will make up stories out of nowhere. THAT's what I don't understand. I could handle a lie like "no, i did not just fart" but not something like "well my dad left me when i was a baby and he moved to Mexico and joined the circus"(bad example).. crazy lies out of nowhere that serve no purpose. The whole lying thing ties into being hypocritical. It's more lying to yourself than anyone else though. Another thing that gets to me is people telling people what they want to hear. And people acting and dressing a certain way to make people think a certain thing of them. I really hope I'm not doing that. I could be, I really could and not even know it, and that worries me.

I think that saying and doing what you think and feel would just be a hell of a lot easier than making something up.

But, then again: "It just seems like, you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know it's even you?"

What is 'yourself' really? It's just who you have decided to be. So when someone tells you to be yourself, it really means nothing. The way you are acting at that time IS yourself, at that time.

I mean, if we were really 'ourselves'.. we sould all be running around naked giving into our animal instincts. But since we were born people have been telling us how to act, and we have been doing it. It just depends on what they told you that makes you who you are.


"If I could just speak up, I think I would say that there is no truth. There is only you, and what you make the truth" Good words. Some people live their life believe in a higher being. Some people believe in nothing. Only one of those groups can be right, but they have made what they believe in become the truth for them. It's true to them, even if it's not proven. Well I could live my life believing wholeheartedly that I can have conversations with trees. And people would most likely call me crazy. But who's to say that it isn't true? If I wanted to, I could think it so much and repeat it so loud that this obvious lie would become the truth for me. Maybe that is how compulsive liars think.

I really wish I knew what I was getting at.
I really wish I could turn my thoughts into words, so that this made sense to anyone but me.
and I really wish I could practice what I preach.



But somehow chewing turned to truth-seeking, and this Jackson essay still needs to be done.

self defense or cracking skulls?

"is that a key to your diary?" key to her heart. mine's just an open notebook. no key. "there's no key to your heart" no need. nothing of desire to be protected. no use locking what does not need protection. does not need safe-keeping. maybe i won't even keep it. it has served me little purpose. nothing but misuse and neglect in its past. i guess i just don't understand it all. some need love. i have some to spare. but it's not my place to share with them. this is the only case where beggars can be choosers.
oh well

get over it

i have so much time

but maybe... 'my plastic heart can not love'

those are the parts of your body that caused my comatose to begin

What was that about? Well Saturday/sunday we watched Dahmer, but even when he was sawing off someone's arm, or having his way with an unconcious body, all I could say was "he's kinda pretty for a crazy man" or something along that line.

I also talked to the Melanie this weekend. She uses wine bottles for rolling pins and has a zombie for an oven. We reminisced about middle school and all the crazy things she finds from those days. Well I haven't seen melanie since the spaghetti til 8 AM incident, remind me to hang out with her soon.


Today is early release so I had the same lunch as Roman. We celebrated McDonald's Monday and got into her music in the car. I didn't know all the words so sometimes I would just say "watermelon watermelon watermelon".. I fooled her, I swear. Also Roman laughs at me because of the way I say "why-eeeeeeee" and "ali-eeeeeve" (alive) when I sing. Jealous.

I swear someone was just saying my name. Whoa, was that weird.

I've spent this whole hour trying my best not to make eye contact with my teacher. There's something I'm supposed to show him, but I don't have it done. Oh. He's looking. Sink behind the computer..... Good! I'm safe.

After school I have to go make up a CAT test that I missed last week. As of right now I'm getting an F in that class. Doing that test should fix it, I hope. I also have a test to make up for AP history tomorrow, and I'm hoping THAT grade will also raise from an F to something gooooood. The rest of my classes are looking alright I think. Meh.

Temps day is Friday! I'm going to explode and school is very almost over so I will catch you later I guess.

sexy for a serial killer

so a-bomb is at my house and we can't sleep because of vivarin and jeffery dahmer and his hotness and we watched the home shopping network and a man eating a penis popsicle.
a-bomb likes to hit on me. i find it creepy. bliss is a sexy show.

shleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

sorry.

how much pastrami can a guy eat?!

I've spent the night just kickin' it (ha, I said "kickin it") in my house. All week I haven't gotten much sleep and I've been busy with.. well, I don't really know what, so I felt like just doing staying home tonight. Good choice. let me tell you.

So... I've been happier lately than I was a little while ago. When I'm sad/mad I tend to be just real silent. I don't like people to know I'm upset so I just keep quiet. Well I've been in a pretty good mood lately so I'm back to the skipping and hopping and inappropriate touching of strangers that you've all come to know and love. :)

Oh, I got my scores back from that PLAN test today. A freaking 28 out of 32. That's pretty flippin' awesome if you ask me. haha. especially since I was tired and I was sick that morning. The test was one part for every subject. Then there was this other part where you checked things you liked to do and they tell you what career you should go into. So some of these careers are kinda funny. Like, I got Bricklayer, Custodian, Dry Cleaner, Butcher. BUTCHER? Picture me, butcher-ing. ha. I laugh. out loud. But it does say I could be a photographer. And I could. I really could. I can really see myself as a photographer when I'm older. Well more than a butcher anway..




So, tomorrow, I'm not sitting at home again. If I know you, be forewarned that I'll probably call you and make you hang out with me. (harhar)

giddyup billy-up

I think I liked today. errr yesterday, seeing as it's 1 AM.
School wasn't overly shabby if I remember correctly.
Tonight I went to Cafe Craig. I've realized I've been going to a lot of schooly things lately, like games and whatnot, I don't know why. Well I had nothing better to do, so I went, with Ally. I'll just say it was all it's cracked up to be. It's really not cracked up to be anything. So, yes..
When it was over I lured two friends and two sort-of-strangers to my house with talks of monopoly and a "bitchin" party. ha ha. Ally, Anna, Clara, Kyra came to my house. Anna had to leave right away. The rest of us had the most insane time of all times (right? right? okay, maybe not).
But it was fun, I do admit.
You sure missed out.


Did I spell names wrong? if so, deepest apologies to you new friends.

redneck love leaves emotional scars

Happy December. The snow all melted, except for a few patches, so I picked some up and threw it at my brother then frolicked away like a schoolgirl because I am.

I stayed at school until 5 today. It's kind of weird, I spend the whole day wanting to leave, and then I stay an extra hour+ because someone asks me to keep them company while they do their research paper. So Jeff and I kicked it in the school library looking up Sex Ed, the Vietnam war, and everything in between (except for the in between part). I'll be so happy when this paper is done.

AFter that I came home, and have been here ever since, except for when I went to the mall with Jack for a little bit. We went into sam goody because he wanted to get that linkin park/jay-z cd (meck), well I guess it's not entirely horrible, but i still wouldn't buy it. but it doesn't make me want to stab myself, so that's a plus. Anyway, I resisted my urges to buy anything which is good because i didn't have money.

So now I am sitting here, very confused, because of someone and something and blah blah blah.




And I'm listening to techno because it makes me giggle.
And my hand still says "I HATE :) !!" (smiley face included)

And temps day is in 16 days, exactly.