just try to see in the dark

Last night I rolled with Ally, and we declared it a 'Crewless' night. We went places, saw people, sung many-a-song and busted a move or two in her car. I bought a CD with money I didn't have, so now I owe her. We didn't have anything to do that didn't involve the Crew, so we ended up going to Palmer to swing around 9:00, when it was cold and dark and a little creepy. After a while we laid down on the benches of the picnic table and talked about school and college and growing up and if we'll still be friends when we're old and grey, and of course we will. It was a moment. Then we got too cold so we sat in her car. We listened to my new CD. We wondered if either of us would ever have a boyfriend who won't suck entirely (no offense to anyone who might take it). Maybe one of these days..

So, like I said, last night was a Crewless night. I actually haven't hung with the Crew in a little more than two weeks. It's not that I have a problem with any of them, or that I'm trying to ditch them or anything. And it's not that I have a man, because I don't. I just don't want to be completely connected with them, where they expect me to be there every time the rest are hanging. Plus, I just have other friends that I like to see. But it's nothing against the Crew. So tonight we're 'reuniting' so to speak.

Annnnd.. speaking of reuniting.. I hung out with Adam, Ryan, Wayne and company for the first time in months. It makes me happyeee, but they think I'd forgotten about them, when I thought it was the other way around.

Which reminds me.. Elaina and Joey, and Wayne and Caitlin are going to Prom together, and apparently they want me to go too. So Wayne decided that Adam should go with me/us, but I gues that's a no-go. Now we're looking to hire a male escort... but not really.

yaaaawn

I'm so tired. Three hours of sleep last night, four the night before. I had lots of caffeine to keep me up today (I was twitching and couldn't stop talking for a while there). Now that it's worn off I want to crash real hard, I mean REAL hard. I'm hittin' the hay, but I thought I'd let it be known that I'm still alive, and things are going good.




"I ordered this with no solicit. I'm gonna have to take it back now. I specifically said I wanted no solicit on my sandwich."

cheer me up, i could learn to love you

Sometimes I wish I knew what to say to my friends all the time. Those lines that everyone else uses to make people feel better don't always seem right. When someone's upset, I always feel awkward, because it seems like everyone else knows exactly what to do to make them happy again, and I honestly have no clue.

....so I end up drawing pictures of stick people

..and poop.

That's right, poop.

I'm just that cool.

And today, I drew a very special This-is-the-Only-Thing-I-Know-Will-Make-You-Laugh/Cheering-Up picture for Ally featuring a can of "Poop Soup." I bet you didn't know that existed.. probably because it doesn't. But, like I said, I'm just that cool. I have the sense of humor of a five year old.

apples and oranges

The trip to Madison was a good time.

I roamed with Kyle and Kevin around State Street. Most of my pictures were of things- pipes, fences, windows, chairs, and so on and so forth. I really didn't have any with people.

But I was in many-a-photo, because, as Kyle put it, "You have the best emo poses!" Yes, that's right, I can look sad on command. I add spice to any dark alleyway by leaning against a wall. And if Goodwill hired models, I would have a job. (Note: The word "emo" gets really old, along with many other labels.)

After State St we went to the zoo, and took pictures there also. I think my best are of the giraffe. I don't know though, I'm not much for pictures of animals.

Speaking of.. don't you hate it when people take pictures of their pets? I'm talking a whole roll+ of just their dog/cat sitting (because that's all that dogs/cats do). Yes, well I do too.


It's 2 AM.
I need sleep
But I'm not tired.


Remember a few weeks ago when I got a thing from a place to do my Photo Assignment? Well I'll explain..

Our assignment was called "What Spring Is.." or something along those lines. We were supposed to take pictures of what spring meant to us. I was thinking of doing flowers blooming, children playing, deer frolicking in the wilderness, blah, blah, blah, but then I had an idea that would be way easier. So Amanda, Bobby and I went to Ace Hardware that day and bought two springs. I'm talking metal bouncy springs. And I took 27 pictures of the springs in different places (ashtrays, puddles, etc.). Yessssssssss.

And I get to process that film today. Yessssssss.

in your face, BAM, i'm amazing

Sometimes I wish my house had hidden cameras, because then people all over the world could see me when I slide across the wood floor on my knees and run into the wall. Pshyeah!

Tomorrow is the photo field trip to Madison. I'm way excited. Like, more than excited, probably. I know that I'm wandering around with Kyle, which should be excellent times. Also, since I'm not going to any classes tomorrow, I didn't do any of my homework. Pshyeah x2!

And, hey, guess what.. my hair is crazy cool. Like, in your face, BAM, i'm amazing.



(Someone, stop me)

sweet-toothed hussy

Today was my first dentist appointment in ages.

I didn't faint. Yay!

I have a cavity. Booooo.

I eat too much sugar and don't floss.

Who flosses? Honestly?

dreamwrecker

I really hate not knowing what to say, but it happens I suppose.

Yesterday was a waste.

I need sleep.

every sound is tame

I was no fun at all tonight. I feel real bad about it too. I don't know.. I guess I just had a few things on my mind, and something else that happened didn't make me too happy. But I just felt like I was a drag to be around. At one point everyone was playing Hide and Seek or something (we were at the park) and I just sat on the ground playing cell phone Brick Attack. Lame, I know, but I wasn't trying to be anti-social or anything, that's just how it happened. I hated feeling down for no reason, and just wanted to get away from the group, so I left to get food with Tiffany and Emilee. When we got back everyone was broken up and sad or quiet. Then everyone else was hungry, so we all went to Perkins, where it was a fifteen minute wait for nine people. Amanda and I ripped in the parking lot, and colored with crayons. I ended up leaving before we were even seated so I could make it home on time. I was really 20 minutes early, but I don't mind too much at all. I just wasn't having a good night, despite the sporadic bursts of it being alright.

walking on eggshells

I don't even want to talk anymore. No matter what I say, someone will get offended. No matter what I do, someone will misunderstand my intentions. It's not even worth it to not care, because it'll just come back and sting me in a big way. So if I don't talk to or about you at all anymore, if I pretty much ignore your existence, realize that it's because you're being so touchy and sensitive.

breaking off is misery

I was just sitting and my eyes started watering for no reason. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and I felt like I was crying. It even tricked me. I'm just that tired that I don't even know what's going on.

-----------------
Things I'm (apparently) No Longer Allowed to Say:
1. "Hey, man/dude, listen...."
2. "The thing about that is...."
3. "You don't even know"
4. "Haggard"
5. "Haaaaaaang ouuuut"
6. "Traaaaashed"
7. "Jellyhead"
-----------------

I don't care.

i'm a hustler baby

I jus want you to know.

i'd do everything to you

Hooray!

Spring break is over. That's not why I said "Hooray," I don't know what is.

Today I woke up at noon which was really 1:00 because of Daylight Savings Time. I sat around for a while and then Bobby and Amanda, or "Bomanda" (officially), came and picked me up. We went to a place to get a thing for my photography project. We were sitting in the parking lot about to leave when "Brileigh" called Amanda, and they came and joined. We took pictures and sat, Brian skated, and we all went to Frostie Freeze. Then we went to Clara's house, where Clara and Eric and Tim were. And, la la la, I don't know.

I noticed everyone found lovers over spring break. And those who didn't (me) found new friends, which is equally cool.

Looking at the clock, I just realized that it's past midnight, Monday, which means I go back to school today. Arrrrrgh.

And I'm not even tired. I might just stay up.

straightfacedefecate

So, first, I'd like to say that while my comments may have been rude/ignorant to my mom, I found what she was saying even more rude. Commenting on a couple, saying that they shouldn't get married, when you really have no idea and hardly know them at all, is incredibly rude I say. And, to whoever commented, you weren't there. Maybe I didn't explain it well but what she was saying seemed pretty out of line. It just wasn't cool. Maybe what I said wasn't too cool either, but hey, I doubt it's to the point that you should hope to God your children won't end up like me.


Now that that's out of the way...

Lemme say that last night was pretty ridiculous. I felt like I was back in third grade. We were all at Clara's house and then Amanda Bobby and I left to go to his friend's house for a bit (which, by the way, was pretty awkward). When we got back everyone was whispering about something. Apparently they'd decided that Amanda and I were in a silent competition over Bobby. I guess when you're bored you make up romance. We decided to lead them on, so the two of us went in the bathroom and faked a fight, but no one really knew what we were doing. Oh well. Entertainment I guess.

They were even calling us a love triangle.

All I have to say is 'Green Bay Jelly.'