listen up

Everyone makes those entries about "in 2005, I...." Well, you know what? Eff that. Here are some things people (friends, me, crazy people I don't even know.. odds are if it makes no sense.. it's the third) said that I'll probably remember for a lifetime, whether I like it or not.



1- "Oh yeah? Well cry me a river and I'll piss on your face!"



2- "It's that moment in life when you actually feel alieeeeeeeve."



3- "My eggs!"



4- "Hey, man, listen... the thing about that is..... you don't even KNOW! The thing about that is.... it's haggard, man. Haaaagggaaaard."



5- "Think how long customer appreciation week would last then!"



6- "Git 'R' Dun? Get.... Her... Done...?"



7- "I hate everything!"



8- "I put a knife in my grandma's goldfish because it called me stupid."



9- "Celery? I don't eat that naaasty shit!"



10- "What do YOU want? A jackal? Light-up shoes?"



11- "Eff coleslaw."



12- "You wanna be on TV?"




Happy 2006.

in complete other news (yeah, another post)

My ears are MELTING from so much good music. If I told you I now own three EITS discs (I don't have the Friday Night Lights soundtrack).. how pumped would you be? Because if you'd like, I'd let you listen. They're really good. I could burn them for you.

So so pretty. Like yo' face.

tired of being down, i got no fight

I had this dream last night- the weirdest thing. The realest dream I've ever had. Part of the reality of it was that it took place in Roman's house, and every now and then dream-me would think "Why isn't Roman at her own house?" and then real-me would open my eyes (in my sleep) and see her sleeping on the couch, then I'd fall back into the dream, completely believing every bit of it.

In the dream you and I got some things ironed out, I think. I wished it was real.

But at the same time, I was glad that it wasn't.. because it ended with the two of us locked outside of a building in the pouring rain and no shoes.




I'm growing so sick of the people who have what I want and don't seem to appreciate.

the dance that's still going strong one year later

i've got a fever and a childish wish for snow

I've got a lot less money than I had a week ago and a half-cleaned room.

I've got two bruised knees and some holiday cheer.

And I've got a childish wish of my own......

maroon

I'm sixteen and I've still never had anything in my life to perspectify everything. No huge tragedy. I'm not complaining- not at all. Just saying... nothing huge has ever happened to put things in perspective. Maybe I focus on the things that don't really matter in the long run.

i should've left you at the flea market

Things are not going my way lately. And it's not that I'm used to getting whatever I want, it's just that all the tiny things that could go wrong, have. And nothing makes any sense.

Is it so easy to get angry at me? I feel like I keep getting blamed for faults of others. I'm the metaphorical whipping boy for every adult in my life. Honestly.. or so it seems.

Am I just the last straw.. all the time? Am I just that easy to yell at?

I don't know, but it is really bringing me down.

Don't think I'm mega depressed. I mean, this isn't last winter. Or.. the one before that.

I feel selfish for even complaining, but today has been nothing short of horrible.


There were high points.
-the establishment of the LOTHT crew/ SNiCK nostalgia
-getting permission to eff the door project sideways

Aaaand the absolute lowest point, I'd have to say, was when that song came on and I had to just stare out the window.

"Nothing is fair or good alone"

copy + paste = no writing involved

T: .......
C: and everyone already knew
C: and so i'm thinking he could know
C: what the crap i'm so fourth grade
T: IM so fourth grade as well
C: why don't i just send him a freaking "do you like me? check yes or no" note?
T: hahah do it
C: and then he'll be like what the crap? no!
T: HE WILL BE LIKE
T: FINALLY
T: FINALLY I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF
T: and then check the Yes box
C: "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW MY TRUE FEELINGS... AND HERE IT IS!"
C: check
C: (no)
T: OH ZIP DA LIP
T: you are almost too amazing carly

don't be afraid, you have just got your eyes closed

So I'm reading A Farewell to Arms and it's not entirely horrible, though I really don't see Hemingway's appeal. But whatever, it's cool.

My mom forced me to make a christmas list today, but the thing is, there's not that much that I want/need. It's not the whole.. I'm growing up and Christmas is no big deal anymore thing.. for some reason it was just tough to think of anything to ask for. What I want lately has nothing to do with objects.

'Cause.....I want yo' bodddaaay!
(I'm kidding. I couldn't be more kidding.)

Today I went out to finish my roll of film for the doors project. Thirteen pictures ended up taking two hours. Well, okay, I just wandered around downtown making footprints in fresh snow and watching icicles drip. I tried to get lost but it didn't happen. I love winter and the sky was gorgeous.

Anyway.. my point: Tomorrow I'll process that film, maybe print some pictures after school. I have to have twelve. They have to be matted. They have to look sweet. All by the 21st, and I don't know if that's enough time, BECAUSE, I also have to start my journal project, and have it looking alright by the 21st. And I had this sweet plan for the doors which I don't know if I'll be able to put into action seeing as I've hit way too many obstacles and wasted far too much time on this.

Wait. I take that back. It'll be sweet and that's final.

Okay okay, getting to my real point: everything is beautiful and that's all I got.

'I didn't know that the words you said to me meant more to me than they ever could you'

I just don't think I'll ever

Turns out that I can make moves but still can't make decisions.

spider fingers

I was two minutes late to school and ended up in a freshman health class for first hour because "the Lockdown" got called right when I was by my locker. Silly dogs. I sat in the back and learned about love. I didn't hate it.

Photoshop? I don't really know how to use it, but I'm learning. The past few days I've been on a Photoshop spree.

So I don't get this....
The turkey.. turned into a sidedish. Kind of.
Non-food item.. is.. well... food.
Chan-chan-chaaaange.

I am not meant to do the door project for adv photo, I've decided. Last night I had my third attempt at taking pictures for it, and the stupid sun went down before I could finish the roll.

Stupid sun.

Stupid sons.

Stupid boys.



Don't eat anything calling itself a Cake-Pie.




5:50- I don't wanna, like, jinx stuff.. but let me just tell you that you get pretty flustered when you're interrupted in the middle of rapping "Golddigger," and I'm not making excuses.. but, I mean, if there's anything to be excused then this is my explanation. I was flustered.

be my december

It's kind of sad that I don't ever do anything in photography. But it's like.. I have all these ideas and all these plans but never enough time. The darkroom's never open, so I rarely even get in there. Sometimes there'll be extra room but then I'm stuck helping the not-advanced students and never get to do anything for my projects. This sucks, simply put.


Pillow.


It actually makes me pretty sad.


Candlabra.


I think tomorrow after school I'm going to take some door pictures. Should be exciting. But, you know, not really.


Spoonspoonspoon.


And I just saw something that made me smile really big. I guess the glow is back. That's what I hear.




Happy December.