"i can only look at it with my hands in front of my face"

i guess all i ever wanted was a bunny and a nice bike and complete and brutal honesty. i like how things are right now but there are a lot of things i don't know, and all of them i'd like to.

i'm
in the middle
of

freak out....

there are certain things i can't ask him / certain things he won't talk about.. no matter how important they really are for me to know. i'mdyin
i guess

i wasn't two seconds ago



see you later vagueness

you're a part-time lover and a full-time friend

Life is nice.
Things are nice.
I am nice(er than I have been before? Hopefully?).

If I met a boy who could play geetar like PJ and smell like KT, I would be theirs. But, as is, I'm kinda not anyone's / someone's / no one's / in the dumbest way. And I don't care that he can't play guitar and that he's average-smelling, because I never ever get bored of him and never think he's anything less than great. I dunno, I'm kind of a sad sappy sucker it seems... mostly because I miss him and everyone else at school.

Wa wa waaaa

I used my sewing machine finally and made a shirt out of an icky old lady dress, and I'd have to call it a success if anyone asked.

Oh boy Oberto

All that's happened? Well,...

First semester ended, passing grades, even though I turned in the Art History exam completely blank. My roommate decided to move out and I'm pleased as punch, but hoping I just somehow won't get a new one. Dune and Adam moved into their apartment yesterday, and that should be exciting I guess. There's a wolf shirt store in the mall that put all their goods on clearance, so I'm planning on making some fashions out of wolfshirts... we'll see how that goes.

I'm really missing Milwaukee more than I ever thought I could, but I guess it's the people.

On Tuesday, my dad, Jack and I are leaving for Colorado to snowboard for some days. I have Jack's old board (finally not renting) and a new purple jacketcoat. Should be sweet. Thing is, though, we get back the 13th, and my new classes start the 14th, and I actually have morning classes nowadays. This might suck, but I'll stay optimistic.

Palabra a tu madre.

home again

Whenever I come home for a weekend my room is spotless and I guess I've never thought about it, but my mom must clean it. I wonder if she cleans it after I leave to go back to school, or before I come home. Or do I leave it like this? I really can't remember. I really doubt it. My sheet is on the bed upside down (a.k.a. the side with stripes is the side not facing the ceiling), and when I noticed that I thought, whoever put them on must not have been paying attention. And then, now, 20 minutes later, I realized I was the one who put them on, a month ago. I find it strange that nothing happens in my room for weeks at a time when I'm away. When I open my drawers there's nothing really in them anymore. All or most of my clothes are at school. I realize I can survive without any of this stuff that's in my room here, because I am surviving without it at school. This makes me think that I should get rid of it. But, if I get rid of everything here, that makes this home less mine

it's way too early to call you

"You're my friend from across the ages, so I can say anything to you and you understand. Isn't that weird?"
"That's not weird. It's completely normal."
"You're right. You're normal. I love you."

I woke up at 7:32 to a call from Austin. He's going to work something out so we can hang out next week when he's home. If this were a movie, it wouldn't happen. We'd go on forever almost seeing each other and then, something would keep coming up to get in the way, we'd keep talking on the phone every so often and years and years would go by until we almost forgot about each other, and THEN we'd accidentally meet somewhere and fall madly madly crazily in love... or something. I hope I don't have a movie life though, because I want to see him soon.

My sleep schedule's all messed up. I didn't sleep at all at all Wednesday night. I started falling asleep yesterday while doing my drawing homework, so I gave myself a 30 minute nap (and when I woke up and jumped down from my bunk bed, I may or may not have twisted my ankle). In Art History, I had to write to stay awake, so when I got home from class at 7 I went straight to bed..... and slept for twelve hours. Oof-da

My room-mate's never here anymore. Her boyfriend moved to Milwaukee a month or two ago, so she's there all the time. That's cool, I guess, but I also feel like he should kinda make some friends of his own, his own age, in the city. Otherwise I'm fully okay with it.

Whomp whomp whommmmmp, I still feel tired.

really weirdy

Currently I'm sitting in the third floor lounge with Vinny going drawing crazy. I started out just wanting to finish my Visual Dynamics project tonight, but after that was done the scribbles came a-flyin', and the india ink too. Vinny made a big giant stencil of my face, but that's top secret! He's moved onto his now, and when we're done, we're sprayin 'em up on this here wall.

Oh yeah I haven't slept.

I'm very excited that Thanksgiving is only a week away, it's my most favorite food-based holiday.

/>,?,?,/>/

i'm a dum-dum. you know, a sucker.

am i a walrus?............probably not

Ever since I threw salt over the wrong shoulder (Halloween), I've been having the worst luck. That same day I lost my most precious and valuable pin (a.k.a. Anokijig Knighthood), and since then it's been a streak of bad luck. This includes, but is not limited to: my Mom's car battery dying the day she came up for Parent's Day, the ball of my piercing falling out and refusing to go back in, me falling off of a fire hydrant (what? exactly), losing my ID then getting a new one then losing that one as well, spending five hours in school after my nine-hour day is done just to break and re-glue and break and re-glue and break and re-glue my space forms project, and slicing my finger open with scissors. And that's not even half of it.

But I'm thinking that the streak is over. Now, I still haven't found that pin, and that makes me really sad, but I had a pretty alright day. This morning I did the BBBS thing. Isabel and I colored her art project, then talked about gerbils and cousins and A Wrinkle In Time. I drew her in my little pocket sketchbook and she really really liked it, so I let her keep it. I don't know why this made me so happy, but it did. And then I took a cab back to the dorms, had another lovely conversation with another lovely driver, did my laundry, ate crab rangoon, and went to class.

I be crushin'.... as of.. yesterday, I think? It's been a while- maybe a month- since I've dug a fella. But I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl when this certain feller talks to me, and I talked to him twice today. Giddy giddy me.

This weekend Kyra is coming. I think on Saturday, and then staying til Sunday to see Modest Mouse. I simply cannot wait.

/////////////////



This is a picture I took for my Visual Dynamics project. The assignment is to do a Chuck Close type self portrait, so I think this one'll be fly. Yadig?